Author Archives: Meeshell X

Living my life in the tropics.

Being Joyful

What brings you joy in life?

What came to mind immediately as I read this question for today was that cleaning lady or organizing lady, whose name I do not know. The idea is when it comes to cleaning things out, you should grab an item and ask yourself “Does this item bring me joy?” If you respond positively, the item remains with you and it the answer is no, you discard the item. Simple enough. I tried it once, and it worked. I got rid of lots of useless pieces of clothing.

Then I thought, could this same question be used or applied to activities of our daily lives? Obviously not for your job if you work, although it could be applied if you are looking to switch jobs or professions. But what I am talking about is, the decluttering our lives with those activities that bring a hint of dread to our daily lives. You know, the ” I don’t really want to go but…or I said yes, sooo, and “I didn’t go last time so this time I have to” activities. These activites suck the joy our of life. Not only do they suck the joy out of your life they leave little room for you to engage in the actual activities that do bring joy to your life.

Now if you have children, it can be said that you derive joy from doing activities with and for your children and family. But the joy that is being brought here is one that is not necessarily directed to the self. As parents, husbands and wives, we derive joy from doing activities as a family. But we too, as individuals, must take time to indulge in acitivties that bring joy for oneself, something that parents lose sight of. Here the question would alter a bit from “Does this bring me joy?” to more like, “What have I done this week, this month that has brought me joy?” Maybe it’s reading a book for an hour, or taking a walk or getting a massage or tinkering in the garage, whatever it is, it is necessary for sanity and happiness. Speaking purely from life experience.

Currently, writing this daily blog is bringing me joy, I have recently picked up on my reading and I am making a conscience effort not to neglect myself. I guess without realizing it, I have been applying my own question. “Does this bring me joy?”

What do you think? Can this question be used to help bring more joy to our lives?

5 responses to “Being Joyful”

  1. issababycreates Avatar
    issababycreates

    Marie Kondo is the organizing “joy queen”. I like her as well. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Iseult Murphy Avatar
    Iseult Murphy

    Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Holesinthefacee Avatar
    Holesinthefacee

    Enjoyed reading this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Meeshell J Avatar
      Meeshell J

      Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Produce Something! – Everything and Nothing …you decide. Avatar
    Produce Something! – Everything and Nothing …you decide.

    […] Why do I write? Because, I am actually really enjoying it! Who knew! I do not write with the aspirations of fame or to make money. As I wrote in my original post, I write to share my ideas for discovery, venting, as a hobby and for threapy. I am currently writing everyday because of Bloganuary, and I have started to include audio to some of my posts, which I REALLY enjoy. I am not sure if I am any good at either, but what I do know is that it brings me JOY! […]

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Treasures

What is a treasure that has been lost?

Story One

I walked into my best friend’s house the other day and found no one to greet me. I asked myself where is everyone?! Yes, I can just walk into my friend’s house without ringing the bell or knocking, she knew I was coming. But when I walked in, I saw no one or heard no one. “HELLO?” I said. My friend, Lisa, screamed from upstairs to come on up. I asked, “Hey where is everyone?” she replied that everyone was home somewhere in the house. While she continued to get ready, I decided to go and say hi to the folks. I wandered through the house looking for Lisa’s sons and husband. As I walked down the hall, I found Mark in his room, on his computer watching Rick and Morty and Jon was in his room on his computer watching a movie. Lisa’s husband was nowhere to be seen so I went back down to see if he was in the kitchen or garage. I found him in the family room watching a movie.

Story Two

“Everyone packed? Let’s go!” We are headed to our friend’s beach house. It’s an hour and half from where we live. Immediately my husband’s phone connects to the car radio and starts playing his 80’s rock music. Right away my sons and I roll our eyes and groan. Same old music. Both my son’s take our their headphones, pods, or whatever they are now called and put them on. I too wanted to do that but well that would be rude, I guess. Nobody wanted to listen to what was playing on the car stereo.

Communal happenings or things once shared by a small group because there was no other option, is disappearing or has already disappeared. Today, individualism is the in. Streaming services tailor to our individual tastes. Gone is the gathering together and having to see and hear what others are interested in watching or listening to. The effect, the loss of discovery and open mindness. These two things, discovery and open mindness, are the lost treasures of the rise of individualism. This is not to say we will not continue to learn or discover new things, but the discovery will be biased.

Disturbed

Stop giving baby dolls to little girls as toys.

The other day I was holiday shopping and I noticed an little girl walking just ahead of me. I could see that she was carrying a baby doll with her and walking ever so carefully with it. I was fine. But as I continued to walk and she in front of me, I realized I couldn’t stop staring at the little girl with her baby doll and its pacifier. I knew I was staring. Why was I staring though?

Was she cute? Maybe.

Was it because she was slow? Maybe.

Was she saying something in a cute way? Maybe.

But I was staring for non of those reasons.

The image of the little girl with her toy doll disturbed me. I was annoyed by this site. What is this child being taught? What messages are we instilling within her at a young age? That…

It is easy to care for a baby.

Babies will stay quiet as you walk around.

Cradling a baby while walking around doing holiday shopping is a piece of cake, no stroller needed.

As I continue to walk, the little girl and her family went into store disappearing out of my sight. But the thoughts remained. What is she learning in this situation? Should we be giving girls dolls as toys. And if by doing so, what exactly are we teaching our little girls about the future? About marriage and family traditions, or that having a kid is easy because they will be quiet and still and you will be able to walk around with them effortlessly.

I do not know what message is being learned, but for now, please stop giving dolls to little girls.

Earliest Memory

Bloganuary: What is your earliest memory?

Wow. Easy but difficult. I wonder how many others are with similar thought. My earliest memory is not one of happiness, joy or cuteness and I question whether to write about what my actual earliest memory is or do I write of the “other” earliest memory I have, the happy one?

The Memory

I was five. It was a sunny summer day. I want to say it was a Sunday, but really I do not know. My dad had just come home, he had been gone for the day and I was excited to play with him. I was the apple of his eye, I could do no wrong, and my every wish was his command. What would we play today? Barbies? Let’s play barbies! I ran to my room to get my dolls and their things. My dad was now in the kitchen talking to my mom. I grabbed my toys and come out of my room. As I come out, I see my dad crossing the hallway with bag in hand headed for the door. “Daddy where are you going?” I yelled. He kept walking toward the door. “Daddy! Daddy! wait I want to play with you!” As he got to the edge of the door he stopped, knelt down, gave me a big hug and kiss and told me he loved me. Then, he picked up his bag and walked out the door. The screen door slammed shut in my face. I stood there crying. “I want to play daddy!” “Come back daddy! Come back! Let’s play barbies.” I grabbed the handle to open the door and my mom stopped me. I stood their crying. My dad was gone.

The Reason

Sad memory, why share it?

Being the child of divorce may not be surprising as with a quick search on the internet you will see that the current divorce rate is fairly high and common. But, divorce is not something to be taken lightly if you have children as it affects many areas of a child’s life no matter at what age or stage of life it is experienced.

Yes, I know. “You shouldn’t stay together for the children.” This is true too, I guess. I am not an expert. But…

If divorce has crossed your mind, or you are in the midst of starting the process and have children young or old, can you press the pause button for a moment? No child old or young wants an outsider in their family unit. Yes, people can adapt and make it work and there are happy blended families but in the end there is still the “other factor.” This “other” is ever present and is somehow effcting the child.

An Adult Example

Recently a friend of mine came to see me to talk about her recently divorced parents. She wanted to express her frustrations with her parents, the situation and the “other.” Her parents divorced when she was in her early thirties. She came to me saying, “My mom is bringing her new boyfriend to see my kids,” eye roll. “We are having dinner and my dad bringing his girlfriend.” “She is so annoying, she does not know her place.” “Why can’t they just come alone without the other!” “If I say something, then we will get into a fight.” These are just a some things that people may say or experience as adults of divorced parents.

Children

As for children of divorce, we say things like “oh they are children, they adapt easily.” Yes, they do, they have no choice. But the realitiy of the situation is that the divorce is affecting them at the moment and perhaps later too.

So what, should happen? Should people stay together and be miserable?

No.

My ask is this…

TRY.

TRY talking.

TRY therapy.

TRY separation with the hopes of reconciliation.

TRY religious guidance.

TRY self help books.

Just TRY them all before you act because divorce does impact lives, young and old, then and now.

I do not write as an expert in the area, only from experience.

a child of divorce.

FreeTime

What makes you feel nostalgic?

Free time has made me feel nostalgic.

Currently on vacation, I am a school teacher, I am once again enjoying my passions. Everyday I am engaged in activties which I have little time for during the regular work schedule. This made me think back to the dreaded lockdown of covid-19. Then too I had the time to engage in activities which brought me joy in my life, while working mind you.

In the past two weeks, I have had time to read two books. During the lockdown, I took up reading again. I read a total of twenty-three books during the lockdown of covid-19. At the end of 2022, I made reading more one of my goals. Why? I only read thirteen books in 2022.

“We eat good in this house.” words from my son. There has been an uptick in my cooking too. Pecan pie, rum cake, homemade mac-n-cheese, shrimp tuscany, chicken piccata, and fried pickles are just to name a few dishes I have been whipping up. Even the turkey at Christmas was delicious and I am not a turkey fan!

Another one of my goals is to continue doing the things I love doing and have been doing during my free time, but I know it will be a struggle. There is not enough time in a day or week to do the things your really love when you work outside the home.

My vacation is coming to end, and back to the workforce I go. So my free time is what makes me nostalgic because although I do not wish to be in lock down again, I sure do miss the free time and I all could accomplish during that time.

Maybe I should quit my job?! Honey…

Thoughts?

Resolutions no but Achievements Yes!

ufff.. this is definitely a hard one. SO, so many things came to mind as I read the question. Blog more, help others, read more from diverse authors, turn a hobby into an online business, I want to do it all! Usually, I dabble here and I dabble there and I talk about what I “would” do, but I admit, I am missing the follow through. So, what do I want to achieve this year, Action. Taking action.
Picking one or two of my many ideas and putting it into action and maintaining consistency in doing it so it becomes a habit. Simple. Right?

Good luck to all others and Happy New Year!

Bravery

Brave.

Webster’s definition: having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : having or showing courage.

I do not think of myself to be brave. I took a moment to look the word up and think. When I hear the word brave, I think of those who have faced dangered and fear to save the lives of others or of the bystander who faces danger and fear when they step in to rescue someone in a serious situation. I have never done such things although I would like to think that when presented with the opportunity I would rise to the occasion.

So am I brave? How am I brave? Have I ever been brave? I had to seriously ponder this one.

Back in 1999, I decided to move from the US to a country in Central America not knowing the langauge or the culture. Twenty-three years later, I am still here enjoying the tropical life. Uprooting your life and leaving your family behind takes courage and forces you to face some fears.

Yes. I am brave.

I recently read a book titled Toxic Positivity by Whitney Goodman. It talks of our culture’s obsession to maintain positivity not matter what. You hear this and see this all around you with expressions like ” think positive” and “good vibes only.” Overall, I am a positive person. I am not miss doom and gloom, but I am the person at the meeting that will speak the truth about a situation which may not be positive. This of course gets me the occasional head shake or comment “let’ stay positive.” Speaking up and pointing out the ugly truths is what I do. So…

Yes. I am brave.

After thought, I came up with a few other situations in which consider myself to be brave. But why boast? Although I have not necessarily faced danger to show bravery as stated in Webster’s definition, I have shown bravery through “showing courage.”

Wait. Does that make me brave or courageous? You decide.

Made to Feel Sexy

by accident.

the dog barked. i looked out the peep hole. oh it’s the delivery company! my packages are here! nipple hard on! this was something i realized upon reflection.

i scrambled to open the door because i forgot the dog was outside. although only a an 9month old puppy, i was not sure if she would react. as I opened the door, the dog came charging.

oh no! she’s gonna bite!

luckily she did not. she ONLY jumped on the delivery guy. i screamed for my daughter to help as i opened the screen door. totally mortified, i grabbed for my dog’s collar with one hand, reached my other hand out towards mr. delivery, and held the screen door open with my leg. mr. delivery kindly handed me my packages, recorded whatever he needed to on his machine, looked up at me, smiled, looked again, his eyes popped and he then scurried away. hm. as i stumbled back into the house, i realized why mr. delivery’s eyes were popping.

i was braless, and my medium sized breasts danced with a nipple hard on while retrivieving both my dog and my packages. I smiled.

Stumped

  I just stumbled upon the monthly word prompt @wordpress.   Immediately excitement set upon me as I have been stumped for ideas in writing for some time.  A prompt is exactly what I need to get me out of this slump.  Then, I saw the word prompt.  Green. And nothing.  At first I thought, what kind of word prompt is green?  I turned to Reader of WordPress for inspiration.  But, I  still got nothing.  So, I kinda gave up or at least I thought I had.   But then I noticed the word green continued popping into my mind!  What can I write about green? And it finally came to me.  

Green, looks terrible on me.  It is a color I dislike to wear, so I tend to stay away from clothes in green.  I own one green shirt. I never wear it. Why do I keep it? I should probably donate it. 

Green,  is also the color of grass, it’s related to nature, trees and flowers, but nothing new there.  

Green, I noticed, is the color of @Whatapp, @Facetime, @Spotify, and @iMessages.  I guess its is a popular color for app logo designers.  Have developers noticed how many apps use the color green?! I cannot believe they would choose to continue to use a color that other apps with similar purposes are using.  Is this being done on purpose?! Maybe.  Does the color green do something to us psychologically? Is this why there are a four apps on my home bar with the color green?  Hmm.

Green, with envy and social media.  Not a weird combo.  If you think about it, there are those who scroll through their social media accounts and become “green with envy” based on what they see others “doing” or at least portraying themselves to be doing or having.  This then led me to think about how this has become an “issue” with some of younger generations   I am grateful that I did not have social media as a teenager because it probably would have caused me additional teenage stress and pressure. Things I did not need more of. 

In the end, green, the word prompt @wordpress accomplished what it was suppose to do.  Get me writing again.  Who knew?!  Well, someone obviously did.

Getting It Wrong

There are a few things wrong. I say a few, but it’s more. I will only touch on one for now.  

 I recently read an article in the Economist which pointed out we, The United States,  is the only developed country without universal health care.  Wow!  I let that sink in for a moment.  

ONLY    DEVELOPED    COUNTRY     WITHOUT    UNIVERSAL    HEALTHCARE.  

Why?  Can we not afford it?  

I question. Is there something wrong in making sure that all its members of the country have equal access to decent healthcare?   I know we have various systems in place, private and public health care, and I know people can see a doctor IF they fall into a particular range or  meet certain requirements.  But what about those who don’t meet all the requirements or just go over the requirements?   There are millions who have this issue and as a result are either without healthcare or poor healthcare.  Why is that? 

Is not every person entitled to healthcare? 

For a country who boasts on being aces, tops, the best, when one reads that there are 27 million who are without healthcare or thousands die a year because they do not have access to proper healthcare due to lack of insurance and money, one should really stop and ask why is this happening?  Why do we allow this to continue?  And are we really the best?  No.  Not if someone dies because they could not go to a doctor because they cannot afford to. 

We  have the highest rate of diabetes, heart and lung disease, obesity and STDS compared to other developed countries.   Perhaps this is why our elected officials don’t implement universal healthcare, it’s too costly, but hey, we are the best! Right?