Money & Time

“If I had more money” and “If I had more time.” I say these two are the two biggest lies I tell myself.  

Money.  

There are times when I do wish I had more money.  “If I had more money at this moment I would not have this problem or I could make the problem go away.”  While yes, having a bit more money at that moment might help me solve that particular problem, other money issues will soon arise after and they too would require more money to solve.  The issue then is not having more money, but what is being done with the available funds at hand I would say is the issue.  I am a reflector so I am well aware of this but I still do things which I should not, like buy a five dollar coffee.

Time. 

I used to say if I had more time, I could do whatever.  But it wasn’t until I got cancer did I really understand the concept of time.   The truth is I and YOU have the time if I make the time.  If there is something I really want to do, then there is definitely time. Upon being diagnosed with cancer and praying that I would be a survivor, I vowed to neve take time for granted again.  I remember hearing people say “this weekend we can” or “next month that.”  I remember thinking to myself, how do you even know you will be around then.  I do not take my time for granted.  This, my friends, is no easy task.  It requires me to say no to engagements and activities that would be considered rude to say no to or would cause the occasional whisper.  “She’s not going?”  “ She left?”  I do not mean to be rude. I just choose to use my time wisely for I know it is not indefinite; it can and will eventually run out.  

The money one is still a lie I tell myself occasionally, but not the one of time. I have been cancer free for 2 years.