Family Tree

How far can you go back in your family tree?

Not to far. My family is very small and getting smaller as the time passes. My mother immigrated to the US when she was young and with that basically leaving all family ties behind. My parents divorced when I was young and all ties were cut with my father’s side of the family. Although, the little that I do know about my father’s side, it would be worth looking into how and why the ended up in America. Being that my family is small, I do cherish it. At times I do not understand how some families squabble over what I consider to be trivial things or even go so far in to stop talking all together. In the end, family are just people and like with any other people in life some you like and some you don’t. That’s just how the tree grows.

First

I am not a fiction reader or writer. I do not care of artistic writing. Today’s prompt was a big challenge for me. Below you will find two poems. The first poem was written by me. I then gave it to my son to read and he took my “infantial,” according to my husband, writing and made some adjustments, improvements really. Lesson learned, incorporate more creative reading and writing into my life. Let me know what your thoughts in the comments.

As always thanks for reading.

Fickle Love

As, I know I am not a our love is a fickle one.

There are moments I really can’t stand you. Such as

6:45 am, as I stand on the roofless train platform or,

as you cover me while I walk up or down the stairs of a subway station.

But there are other times during our relationship in which I don’t mind have you around. Such as

on a warm summer’s night as I lay in bed, the sound you make lulls me to sleep or,

while I sit cozy in my chair reading with a good book.

Hateful moments have arisen to in our relationship too.

Suddenly when you rise up and destroy all that an area or,

Quite the opposite when there has been no sighting of you that for so long that the earth begins to crack.

Rain

——–

Fickle Love – Revised.

sometimes i cant stand you,

when you drench me as I stand on roofless train platforms,

or as I make my way down the avenues of the city,

but our love is a fickle one,

i love you on a warm summer day,

when your gentle serenades lull me to sleep,

or how you comfort me when I read late at night,

suddenly, you act up,

you engulf us with a pure rage,

or vanish without a trace,

until the earth’s surface cracks,

and maybe,

only when we beg and chant,

rain comes back.

Produce Something!

Part Two

Why do I write?

Originally, I started writing this blog because my husband told me to “Produce Something ” during the pandemic. As you know, when the world went into lock down we suddenly had all this extra time on our hands. I was wondering what I could do with my time. My husband and son both play instruments and they spent their pandemic time creating music together but I was stuck. Yes, I was picking up on my reading again but I felt that was not enough. I asked my husband and he turned to me and said “produce something,” “Produce something, anything, it does not matter if its good or bad but just start.” And so, this is how this blog got started.

I was enthusiatic at the beginning but they that wore off quickly, and last year I almost did not write at all. At the beginning of this year, I was even debating on canceling this subscription, but I decided to give it one more try.

So here I am again.

Why do I write? Because, I am actually really enjoying it! Who knew! I do not write with the aspirations of fame or to make money. As I wrote in my original post, I write to share my ideas for discovery, venting, as a hobby and for threapy. I am currently writing everyday because of Bloganuary, and I have started to include audio to some of my posts, which I REALLY enjoy. I am not sure if I am any good at either, but what I do know is that it brings me JOY!

Thanks for reading.

Book Review

Brother’s Keeper by Julie Lee

This is a historical fiction novel set in the time of the Korean War, 1950’s.

Anger, fear, hope, joy, elation, and heartbreak are the range of emotions one will experience while reading Brother’s Keeper. Set in the 1950’s during the Korean War, also known as the forgotten war, it tells a story of a sister and brother’s survival as they are separated from the parents during their escape from the North to the South of Korea. Normally I do not read in the genre of ficiton because I struggle with elaborate detail that some authors tend to use, but Brother’s Keeper is written with just enough detail to create images but not overally done to make one want to skip words or whole sentences. The novel also touches upon Korean traditions, customs and family dynamics. I highly recommend this book as you will learn a bit about the “forgotten war,” culture and at the same time be entertained.

Being Joyful

What brings you joy in life?

What came to mind immediately as I read this question for today was that cleaning lady or organizing lady, whose name I do not know. The idea is when it comes to cleaning things out, you should grab an item and ask yourself “Does this item bring me joy?” If you respond positively, the item remains with you and it the answer is no, you discard the item. Simple enough. I tried it once, and it worked. I got rid of lots of useless pieces of clothing.

Then I thought, could this same question be used or applied to activities of our daily lives? Obviously not for your job if you work, although it could be applied if you are looking to switch jobs or professions. But what I am talking about is, the decluttering our lives with those activities that bring a hint of dread to our daily lives. You know, the ” I don’t really want to go but…or I said yes, sooo, and “I didn’t go last time so this time I have to” activities. These activites suck the joy our of life. Not only do they suck the joy out of your life they leave little room for you to engage in the actual activities that do bring joy to your life.

Now if you have children, it can be said that you derive joy from doing activities with and for your children and family. But the joy that is being brought here is one that is not necessarily directed to the self. As parents, husbands and wives, we derive joy from doing activities as a family. But we too, as individuals, must take time to indulge in acitivties that bring joy for oneself, something that parents lose sight of. Here the question would alter a bit from “Does this bring me joy?” to more like, “What have I done this week, this month that has brought me joy?” Maybe it’s reading a book for an hour, or taking a walk or getting a massage or tinkering in the garage, whatever it is, it is necessary for sanity and happiness. Speaking purely from life experience.

Currently, writing this daily blog is bringing me joy, I have recently picked up on my reading and I am making a conscience effort not to neglect myself. I guess without realizing it, I have been applying my own question. “Does this bring me joy?”

What do you think? Can this question be used to help bring more joy to our lives?

5 responses to “Being Joyful”

  1. issababycreates Avatar
    issababycreates

    Marie Kondo is the organizing “joy queen”. I like her as well. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Iseult Murphy Avatar
    Iseult Murphy

    Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Holesinthefacee Avatar
    Holesinthefacee

    Enjoyed reading this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Meeshell J Avatar
      Meeshell J

      Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Produce Something! – Everything and Nothing …you decide. Avatar
    Produce Something! – Everything and Nothing …you decide.

    […] Why do I write? Because, I am actually really enjoying it! Who knew! I do not write with the aspirations of fame or to make money. As I wrote in my original post, I write to share my ideas for discovery, venting, as a hobby and for threapy. I am currently writing everyday because of Bloganuary, and I have started to include audio to some of my posts, which I REALLY enjoy. I am not sure if I am any good at either, but what I do know is that it brings me JOY! […]

    Like

    Reply

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Treasures

What is a treasure that has been lost?

Story One

I walked into my best friend’s house the other day and found no one to greet me. I asked myself where is everyone?! Yes, I can just walk into my friend’s house without ringing the bell or knocking, she knew I was coming. But when I walked in, I saw no one or heard no one. “HELLO?” I said. My friend, Lisa, screamed from upstairs to come on up. I asked, “Hey where is everyone?” she replied that everyone was home somewhere in the house. While she continued to get ready, I decided to go and say hi to the folks. I wandered through the house looking for Lisa’s sons and husband. As I walked down the hall, I found Mark in his room, on his computer watching Rick and Morty and Jon was in his room on his computer watching a movie. Lisa’s husband was nowhere to be seen so I went back down to see if he was in the kitchen or garage. I found him in the family room watching a movie.

Story Two

“Everyone packed? Let’s go!” We are headed to our friend’s beach house. It’s an hour and half from where we live. Immediately my husband’s phone connects to the car radio and starts playing his 80’s rock music. Right away my sons and I roll our eyes and groan. Same old music. Both my son’s take our their headphones, pods, or whatever they are now called and put them on. I too wanted to do that but well that would be rude, I guess. Nobody wanted to listen to what was playing on the car stereo.

Communal happenings or things once shared by a small group because there was no other option, is disappearing or has already disappeared. Today, individualism is the in. Streaming services tailor to our individual tastes. Gone is the gathering together and having to see and hear what others are interested in watching or listening to. The effect, the loss of discovery and open mindness. These two things, discovery and open mindness, are the lost treasures of the rise of individualism. This is not to say we will not continue to learn or discover new things, but the discovery will be biased.

Disturbed

Stop giving baby dolls to little girls as toys.

The other day I was holiday shopping and I noticed an little girl walking just ahead of me. I could see that she was carrying a baby doll with her and walking ever so carefully with it. I was fine. But as I continued to walk and she in front of me, I realized I couldn’t stop staring at the little girl with her baby doll and its pacifier. I knew I was staring. Why was I staring though?

Was she cute? Maybe.

Was it because she was slow? Maybe.

Was she saying something in a cute way? Maybe.

But I was staring for non of those reasons.

The image of the little girl with her toy doll disturbed me. I was annoyed by this site. What is this child being taught? What messages are we instilling within her at a young age? That…

It is easy to care for a baby.

Babies will stay quiet as you walk around.

Cradling a baby while walking around doing holiday shopping is a piece of cake, no stroller needed.

As I continue to walk, the little girl and her family went into store disappearing out of my sight. But the thoughts remained. What is she learning in this situation? Should we be giving girls dolls as toys. And if by doing so, what exactly are we teaching our little girls about the future? About marriage and family traditions, or that having a kid is easy because they will be quiet and still and you will be able to walk around with them effortlessly.

I do not know what message is being learned, but for now, please stop giving dolls to little girls.

Earliest Memory

Bloganuary: What is your earliest memory?

Wow. Easy but difficult. I wonder how many others are with similar thought. My earliest memory is not one of happiness, joy or cuteness and I question whether to write about what my actual earliest memory is or do I write of the “other” earliest memory I have, the happy one?

The Memory

I was five. It was a sunny summer day. I want to say it was a Sunday, but really I do not know. My dad had just come home, he had been gone for the day and I was excited to play with him. I was the apple of his eye, I could do no wrong, and my every wish was his command. What would we play today? Barbies? Let’s play barbies! I ran to my room to get my dolls and their things. My dad was now in the kitchen talking to my mom. I grabbed my toys and come out of my room. As I come out, I see my dad crossing the hallway with bag in hand headed for the door. “Daddy where are you going?” I yelled. He kept walking toward the door. “Daddy! Daddy! wait I want to play with you!” As he got to the edge of the door he stopped, knelt down, gave me a big hug and kiss and told me he loved me. Then, he picked up his bag and walked out the door. The screen door slammed shut in my face. I stood there crying. “I want to play daddy!” “Come back daddy! Come back! Let’s play barbies.” I grabbed the handle to open the door and my mom stopped me. I stood their crying. My dad was gone.

The Reason

Sad memory, why share it?

Being the child of divorce may not be surprising as with a quick search on the internet you will see that the current divorce rate is fairly high and common. But, divorce is not something to be taken lightly if you have children as it affects many areas of a child’s life no matter at what age or stage of life it is experienced.

Yes, I know. “You shouldn’t stay together for the children.” This is true too, I guess. I am not an expert. But…

If divorce has crossed your mind, or you are in the midst of starting the process and have children young or old, can you press the pause button for a moment? No child old or young wants an outsider in their family unit. Yes, people can adapt and make it work and there are happy blended families but in the end there is still the “other factor.” This “other” is ever present and is somehow effcting the child.

An Adult Example

Recently a friend of mine came to see me to talk about her recently divorced parents. She wanted to express her frustrations with her parents, the situation and the “other.” Her parents divorced when she was in her early thirties. She came to me saying, “My mom is bringing her new boyfriend to see my kids,” eye roll. “We are having dinner and my dad bringing his girlfriend.” “She is so annoying, she does not know her place.” “Why can’t they just come alone without the other!” “If I say something, then we will get into a fight.” These are just a some things that people may say or experience as adults of divorced parents.

Children

As for children of divorce, we say things like “oh they are children, they adapt easily.” Yes, they do, they have no choice. But the realitiy of the situation is that the divorce is affecting them at the moment and perhaps later too.

So what, should happen? Should people stay together and be miserable?

No.

My ask is this…

TRY.

TRY talking.

TRY therapy.

TRY separation with the hopes of reconciliation.

TRY religious guidance.

TRY self help books.

Just TRY them all before you act because divorce does impact lives, young and old, then and now.

I do not write as an expert in the area, only from experience.

a child of divorce.

FreeTime

What makes you feel nostalgic?

Free time has made me feel nostalgic.

Currently on vacation, I am a school teacher, I am once again enjoying my passions. Everyday I am engaged in activties which I have little time for during the regular work schedule. This made me think back to the dreaded lockdown of covid-19. Then too I had the time to engage in activities which brought me joy in my life, while working mind you.

In the past two weeks, I have had time to read two books. During the lockdown, I took up reading again. I read a total of twenty-three books during the lockdown of covid-19. At the end of 2022, I made reading more one of my goals. Why? I only read thirteen books in 2022.

“We eat good in this house.” words from my son. There has been an uptick in my cooking too. Pecan pie, rum cake, homemade mac-n-cheese, shrimp tuscany, chicken piccata, and fried pickles are just to name a few dishes I have been whipping up. Even the turkey at Christmas was delicious and I am not a turkey fan!

Another one of my goals is to continue doing the things I love doing and have been doing during my free time, but I know it will be a struggle. There is not enough time in a day or week to do the things your really love when you work outside the home.

My vacation is coming to end, and back to the workforce I go. So my free time is what makes me nostalgic because although I do not wish to be in lock down again, I sure do miss the free time and I all could accomplish during that time.

Maybe I should quit my job?! Honey…

Thoughts?

Resolutions no but Achievements Yes!

ufff.. this is definitely a hard one. SO, so many things came to mind as I read the question. Blog more, help others, read more from diverse authors, turn a hobby into an online business, I want to do it all! Usually, I dabble here and I dabble there and I talk about what I “would” do, but I admit, I am missing the follow through. So, what do I want to achieve this year, Action. Taking action.
Picking one or two of my many ideas and putting it into action and maintaining consistency in doing it so it becomes a habit. Simple. Right?

Good luck to all others and Happy New Year!