One Word

What is one word that describes you?

I have always described myself as spunky but the word spontaneous popped into my head as I read the daily prompt. So, I turned to the dictionary.

According to Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, spunky or spunk v. means to have liveliness or spirit.

Spontaneous adj., on the other hand, means to arise from a momentary impulse.

After reviewing the definitions, and a bit of thought, I have concluded I have been inaccurately describing myself. Although I am spunky, at times, spontaneous would best describe me. From walking out on my job to hopping on an airplanes to visit people and places randomly with no previous plan, I have done some really spontaneous things. I would say moving to another country is the most spontaneous thing I have done. Yes, I came back from a trip and decided to move. Thank goodness it has worked out!

But, upon further introspection, I find I have lost the spontaneity I once used to have. Not completely, I mean I still do little things randomly out of the blue, but I have not done anything one might categorize as bIg, wild, or shocking it quite a bit. These days my spontaneity is more subdued, hiding in the background let’s say..

Just this week, because I am on vacation, I had the desire to jump on an airplane and whisk off to Europe for a week. This idea entered my mind on Friday night and I began looking for tickets to leave on Sunday night. I did find a reasonable option, but I did not go through with it. What stopped me? Why didn’t I buy the ticket and go? I did not want to have explain to my husband what I was doing. Don’t get me wrong, he would understand and most likely say go, but after a lengthy explanation. And, uff, que pereza, what a pain to explain.

And of course, Monday rolled around and the dreaded I should have gone entered my thoughts at 4pm when the plane would have been landing in Spain. Now, today, I sit writing this blog post recognizing, I miss my spontaneous self. Perhaps it got lost with marriage, kids, and life but I want it back.

Next time, I will take time to explain.

m.